In 2002, Neil Humphreys wrote a feature in TODAY newspaper examining inter-racial relationships in Singapore.

 

The piece attracted more public feedback than any other issue that week (including the topic of recycled water, which raised the possibility of people drinking their own piss) and a popular weekly column was born.

 

Within a year, readers (and particularly readers who were also Neil's publishers) enquired about a second book. So in 2003, Neil demonstrated a spectacular lack of originality and released a collection of his columns (with a few new ones) and his wife gave him the title: Scribbles From the Same Island.

 

His second book actually sold better than the first, initially, and succeeded in uniting two separate audiences: The original readers from his first book and the new column readers, who now went back and bought and read Notes From An Even Smaller Island for the first time.

 

As a result, Neil had both books in Singapore's national top 10 at the same time. For about three weeks, he felt like the Beatles, J K Rowling and at least a dozen unfamiliar Asian self-help authors. Critics said there was too much swearing. His mother said there wasn't enough.

 

What they say

"Some of his observations are so bitingly spot-on, you don't know whether to laugh or just hit him on the head." - Her World

 

"He is that voice in your conscience that you wish will go away and let you be that kiasu, kaypoh and uptight Singaporean that you've become." - TODAY

 

"That's Humphreys' specialty - coaxing humourous thoughts from otherwise conservative minds, and making liberal thinkers gaffaw mindlessly."- Sunday Mail (Malaysia)

 

 

 

Neil was watching an episode of Bargain Hunt on cable TV when he decided to write a farewell tour-type travel guide of Singapore.

 

A British programme, Bargain Hunt follows the fortunes of middle-aged, middle-class couples in bright sweaters trying to make a profit at various antique fairs. Sometimes, they made 10 whole pounds. Riveting stuff.

 

After a shitty day fighting office fires from his Toa Payoh flat, he switched on the TV, watched five minutes of Bargain Hunt and said to his wife, "sod it, I'm going to quit my job now, go off on a farewell tour, complete the trilogy and then we'll give Australia a go." And he did.

 

A few weeks later, he'd handed in his resignation, finalised book plans with his publisher and set off with a rucksack and a bottle of water each day to unearth a few rare gems in Singapore.

 

A little over six months later, Final Notes From A Great Island was the fastest selling book in the country and stayed at No.1 for almost three months. Easily Neil's favourite book, Final Notes travelled around Asia, Australia and the UK and is a popular choice with Asian literature students at the University of Hong Kong. Neil has never watched Bargain Hunt since.

 

What they say

 "Neil Humphreys gives readers a wonderful inside look at Singapore from an outsider's point of view. And it's all written in an honest and humorous way. As soon as I started reading, it felt like I was in Singapore and actually visiting the places Humphreys talks about. He describes the people, places and the city in such vivid detail." - Galaxie Magazine (Malaysia)

 

"Final Notes from a Great Island is a great read because it's full of little scenarios that we can relate to in our daily lives. Far from trying to tackle the big issues, Humphreys is adept at capturing those tiny idiosyncrasies that make us who we are as people." - IS Magazine

 

 

Ten years after the incident happened, Neil ended up right back where he started: introducing a book that includes a semi-naked landlady.The only difference was there were now three titles in one volume. Released in 2007, Complete Notes From Singapore was the dumpwee box set (read the books for dumpwee explanation).

 

Neil was reluctant to release an omnibus edition because it had "cash-in" written all over it, but it was reader driven.

The books' distributor decided to release a few three-in-one packs and they sold in their thousands; sold out, in fact.

 

Neil was delighted to have his own packet of three, but the packaging was fiddly for the distributor, the book-seller and the buyer, so Neil agreed to an omnibus only if he could offer extra stuff, including a new introduction, an epilogue to bring the story up to date in Australia and some pictures of half-naked ladies.

 

He believes there is no other series of books that begin in Dagenham, travel through Singapore and end up in Geelong. If there is, he wants to read it immediately.

 

Neil initially wanted to do a George Lucas and create a director's cut by beefing up the funny bits and deleting all the crap bits. If nothing else, he was rather keen on removing several of the 27,000 "fucks" littered in Scribbles.

In the end, he left well alone. Why edit stories involving midnight funerals, 'cuckoo birds' and killer dogs anyway?

 

 

WHEN Neil told his mother he was having his first baby, she suggested he should "write his usual bollocks" and turn the journey in to a daddy's diary.Almost a year later, in November 2008, Be My Baby (On the Road to Fatherhood) was released in Singapore and across South-east Asia.It will be launched in Australia in early 2009.

 

Being an eager first-time parent, Neil hit the bookstores and libraries and noticed that many of the titles were written from the mother's perspective and he wasn't having that.There's always room on the bookshelf for a sentimental journey to fatherhood from a soppy first-time dad, he thought. There are tears, laughs and far too many trips to the toilet, but Neil insists that it is one journey that every man and woman should try and take at least once in their lifetime.

 

Book Bits :

 

 1. Neil still didn't have a name for his baby girl until a day after she was born.

 2. Neil's wife again took the cover photograph after he complained about all the painting and decorating involved in preparing a nursery.

 3. He still calls his daughter a "little heifer".

 4. Be My Baby was the longest book to write, for obvious reasons, but the quickest to read.

 5. Yes, it really is the same shirt as all the other previous covers. Neil keeps it purely for sentimental reasons now, honestly, and only wears

it on his book covers.

 

 

 

Neil's debut novel, Match Fixer, takes place inside the murky underbelly of Asian football. 'Squeaky-clean' Singapore plays host to betting syndicates, which have for decades fed off the insatiable illegal gambling habits of the local population and made a select few bookies very rich and far too powerful. Corruption is destroying The Beautiful Game in Asia and has spread its tentacles into the UK via spread betting cartels. Floodlights have been knocked out. Players jailed. Questions asked.

 

Against such a backdrop, former West Ham apprentice striker Chris Osborne arrives in Singapore for a final roll of the dice to get his once promising career back on track. However, not even a boyhood spent growing up in London's East End prepares him for the crooked shenanigans, bloated former British footballing jetsam and the underground party drugs scene that welcome him to life in paradise.

 

What they say

 "Being an old West Ham boy who grew up in East London and played in Malaysia, it’s clear to me that Neil Humphreys knows this world.

Match Fixer paints a vivid picture of life as a professional footballer - colourful, exciting and unpredictable. It really is a fascinating book.

Tony Cottee, Former England, West Ham, Everton and Selangor striker

 

"A brilliant journey from the harsh realities of making the grade in the English Premiership, via the A-League and onto the sobering realities of football corruption in Asia – 9/10.

Trevor Treharne, Australian FourFourTwo magazine

 

 

 

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Neil's second novel, Premier Leech, tackles the greed, sleaze and corruption tarnishing the English Premier League. No footballer's wife is off-limits, no bung is ever turned down and no corrupt businessman is ever denied the chance to buy into the money-making machine. Scott, an Essex boy and club captain of his EPL side, has a pop star wife, millions in the bank and is adecent season away from an England cap.

 

Until he sleeps with his best mate's wife.

 

His attempts to keep the scandal out of the tabloids and tweets are not helped by his media-savvy manager trying to finalise a club takeover with a dodgy Saudi businessman who wants to buy into the EPL so he can sleep with Cockney blonde hookers. Can Scott keep his affair out of the headlines? Just how much is the modern EPL footballer willing to sacrifice to stay in the game?

 

What they say

“Humphreys magnificently scrapes his studs down the shin of football.”

-Tony Grounds, writer of All In The Game, The Dinner Party and The Martins

 

“I tried not to put names to the characters, all imaginary of course! It’s riotous read.”

-Ken Loach, legendary director of Kes, The Wind That Shakes The Barley and Looking for Eric

 

“Hugely enjoyable. Premier Leech has the stamp of authenticity.”

-Martin Kelner, The Guardian

 

“Hugely entertaining.”

-Jimmy McGovern, writer of The Street and Cracker

 

 

 

 

 

 

Singapore got sexy and the country’s best-selling author got jealous. After five years chasing echidnas and platypuses in Australia, Neil Humphreys returns to Singapore to see if the rumours are true about the island’s newfound sexiness.

 

So he went off in search of new Singapore, vowing to visit only locations that either did not exist five years ago or had been extensively rebuilt or revamped in his absence. From the cloud-topped heights of Marina Bay Sands and Pinnacle@Duxton to making ill-advised bomb jokes at the subterranean tunnels of Labrador Park, Humphreys walks, cycles and hitchhikes across a rapidly evolving country, meeting Guinness-swigging aunties in Resorts World Sentosa, eccentric toy museum owners in Bugis, fierce creatures in the Chek Jawa jungle, political cleaners in Aljunied and a security guard at Marina Barrage ready to ‘tekan’ anyone who crosses his path. In new Singapore, Humphreys discovers a country still grappling between the economic rewards of progress at Biopolis and Fusionopolis and the historical cost at Bukit Brown Cemetery.

 

With Humphreys’ characteristic honesty and wit, Return to a Sexy Island provides an insightful, humourous account of new Singapore; its best bits, it ugly bits and, most importantly of all, what it’s really like to pee in the world’s best toilet.   

 

What they say

“Reading his book once made me laugh so hard I squirted kopi out of my nostrils onto my Bermudas. And now he returns to find that our island has got its sexy back – Warning: This book is a High Squirt Zone and can be hazardous to your shorts.”

- Adrian Pang, Singaporean actor, Forever Fever, Spy Game, The Pupil

 

“It is often said that an outsider sees truths that a local cannot. Neil Humphreys’ witty, insightful, warm-hearted take on life in Singapore (warts and all) proves that point over and over again.”

- Shamini Flint, author, Inspector Singh Investigates mystery series

 

When Abbie Rose’s father hands her a magic suitcase, the four-year takes off on a wonderful journey of discovery.

Come join the four-year old as she learns all about the panda from her dad. Then travel magically with her to the mountains where pandas live. Abbie Rose and her best friend Billy come face to face with a panda, who comes to the rescue to save his new friend.

 

About the Series

Abbie Rose and the Magic Suitcase series of books is targeted at children aged between 0 and 8 years old. Ideal for parents to read to their kids or for emerging readers to develop a love for reading, Abbie Rose travels to faraway places and goes on many adventures with her best friend Billy through the help of a magic suitcase. The series will expose readers and listeners to new destinations and environmental themes and will expand their imagination and creativity and knowledge and understanding of the world around them.

 

Four-year old Abbie Rose has a magic suitcase. In this book, she goes on a wonderful adventure to the ocean with her best friend Billy. In the ocean, Abbie Rose and Billy see many different types of fishes and even meet a dolphin. Abbie Rose accidentally traps Billy and the dolphin in a fishing net but she manages to free it with the help of another new friend, the swordfish. Finally the dolphin is reunited with his family.

 

About the Series

 

Abbie Rose and the Magic Suitcase series of books is targeted at children aged between 2 and 8 years old. Ideal for parents to read to their kids or for emerging readers to develop a love for reading, Abbie Rose travels to faraway places and goes on many adventures with her best friend Billy through the help of a magic suitcase. The series will expose readers and listeners to new destinations and environmental themes and will expand their imagination and creativity and knowledge and understanding of the world around them.